Keeping My Mouth Shut

Halfway through my first weekly challenge I have yet to slip up and make a snide remark about someone behind their back.

Try as they might to tempt me into conversations about what I think about so and so, I have done a good job not taking the bait of the Challenge Masters and even friends unaware of my situation.

Of course that's not to say it has been easy. I was fed several fascinating tidbits of gossip in the past few days where I would have normally chimed in, "I can totally see that about her! She was always so..." It is hard to not throw your two cents in, and not nearly as fun just to listen.

It is interesting to note how scared I was the first few days that I would totally forget and an offhand comment would just fly out of my mouth. Do I really have such little self control?

Even more interesting is that I started to censor the thoughts in my head. Little comments I made to myself about someone I passed in the gym, or saw at a bus stop. Does it count if I never voiced the comment, or if it was to myself, or about a complete stranger?

I think forcing myself to be aware of stupid, meaningless criticisms of people, even if just in my head, is helping me realize the pointlessness of them. It doesn't even make me feel better about myself.

Now I think something and immediately think, "Where did that come from?"

Maybe by the end of the week I will have positive, uplifting comments in my head about all the people I pass...and I'll be able to voice those.

Let the Games Begin!

Well the Challenge Masters have been quite excited about this little undertaking of mine, and have even enlisted the help of a few other friends in coming up with challenges for me. It seems my fear that they would not have enough challenges for nine weeks in completely unfounded.

Here are the three choices for Week 1:

• Do not spend any money for the week.
• Do not say rude things about anyone behind their back.
• Compliment every person you are engaged in conversation with.

I have chosen the second challenge, so for the next week I will attempt to not talk about anyone behind their back.

Now, I would just like to clarify that I do not consider myself a huge two-faced, trash-talking, mean-spirited gossip queen. I am pretty sure my friends do not either. However, I will not deny that there are times when something said would perhaps have been better left unsaid.

I think the hardest part about this challenge will be learning how to voice my frustrations or anger or dislike for someone either in a positive way, or not at all. Maybe holding my tongue will cause me to reevaluate what I was going to say, and why I was going to say it.

Will I feel left out if I don't rail on "that girl's outfit" when I am with my friends at lunch? How awkward will it be when the complaints from my classmates about our TA are met with silence from me? We shall see.